Contributed by Grant Goodwin

As a close work colleague and friend of Kristy’s, I learned the news of Nate’s proposal very soon after he popped the question. With nothing but “boring work stuff” to otherwise discuss, Kristy and I spent more than enough time gabbing about her upcoming wedding – the venue, the format, the band, the vows – whenever avoiding productivity was a must.

Kristy boasted of the man she’d landed. I knew Nate well enough through his visits to the office. Kind, charming, intelligent and polite. Athletic, determined and firmly steered by values. She was right to boast!

I recall the day that Kristy called and asked to come visit me at home on a weekend. She’d just received the news of Nate’s diagnosis and arrived minutes later in tears. We hugged, we shuddered, we hoped, and we hugged some more. Uncertainty lay ahead as they learned what the scans and tests meant – but never was there doubt that they were up for any fight and that they were going to do it together.

And so they pressed on, through treatment, work, studies and apartment packing on their path together, all while continuing to plan their perfect wedding.

I was given the honour of the Emcee role for the big day. For all of us, Nate’s news was still very fresh and it seemed that few of us really knew what to expect, or even how to act, that day. I didn’t know many of the guests beforehand, and I felt some added pressure to steer the day toward the vision that Nate and Kristy had shared with me.

After a beautiful ceremony and group photos over cocktails, we gathered for dinner. Immediately any cloud of concern or sadness began to lift. We laughed. Close family told wonderful stories and toasted their lives and future together. High school and university buddies whooped it up collecting stickers each time they acted inappropriately. Grandparents joined in the chicken dance. The band jazzed on while we ate.

We retired to the rooftop for beverages, and we stayed far too late into the wee hours of the morning, all connected, all joyful, all miles away from the sadness that had been haunting us since we had heard of Nate’s diagnosis.

It was one of the very best weddings I had ever attended, and afterward I wondered why. And then it became clear: the celebration was made up of those who Nate and Kristy held most dear. All shared their same values, all cared that we did right by them. Nate has such a wonderful family, such wonderful friends, that even though many of us were meeting for the first time, it was easy for us all to bond quickly. And so in a moment, all who were concerned became hopeful, and all who were sad became joyous.

Nate was a remarkable man. A sign of one’s character is the company they keep, and that day made it clear that Nate’s character was impeccable. This is such a sad time, and it will be some time before we feel ready to laugh and longer before we feel joyous, I’m sure. But I’m happy for the fact that so many family and friends, those same who are likely inspired by Nate’s values and determination, are at the ready to provide the support that Kristy and his family will need.

Here’s to a “top man”, who did it all right and deserved so much more. And here’s to a rousing four-verse rendition of the chicken dance in his honour. It’s the least (skill-wise) we could do!

Love always,

Grant Goodwin